We are thrilled to host a blog from Kathryn Pinkham from the Insomnia Clinic about how you can get better sleep once your little one does! Kathryn is one of the UK’s leading sleep experts and the founder of The Insomnia Clinic, specialising in evidence-based, practical solutions for poor sleep. With a background in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I), Kathryn has helped thousands of people and has been featured on ITV, BBC, in The Guardian, and across national media, sharing her expert insights on how to sleep well and live better.
Becoming a parent is one of the most wonderful, life-changing experiences — but it’s no secret that it can also turn your sleep completely upside down.
Night feeds, early wake-ups, anxiety, nap schedules and the constant hum of responsibility can all mean broken nights and daytime fatigue become your new normal.
And while we can’t remove the realities of caring for a newborn or young child (sadly, they aren’t born knowing how to sleep!), there are evidence-based strategies you can use to make the most of the sleep you do get, reduce pressure on sleep and help you feel more able to cope.
I’m Kathryn Pinkham, an Insomnia and Sleep Expert and here are my tips for getting the best out of your sleep as a new parent-
Shift your mindset about sleep
One of the biggest challenges new parents face is not just sleep loss itself, but the anxiety around less sleep that comes with it. It’s very common to lie in bed worrying: “I need to sleep when the baby does” or “How will I cope tomorrow?”.
This hyper-focus on sleep makes it harder to drift off as your brain starts to associate bedtime with stress, triggering a mild ‘fight or flight’ response.
Remind yourself of the following: broken sleep is inevitable during this time but you are designed to be able to cope with periods of sleep loss.
Having a new baby is a big deal, your body and mind are adjusting and so it’s very normal to find sleep, even when you have the opportunity, is harder to come by.
Rather than forcing sleep, when you get the chance, lie quietly, reading or listening to enjoy are all ways to relax and gain some energy.
Keep your sleep routine realistic
When you’re exhausted and awake through the night, it’s tempting to get into bed extra early in the hope of catching up. However, for most of us, going to bed at 8/9 or even 10 pm if not your usual bedtime can backfire as your body clock doesn’t recognise this bedtime and you haven’t developed enough melatonin, leading to more tossing, turning and frustration.
Instead, aim to keep your time in bed closer to the hours you typically sleep, even if that’s less than before you became a parent. This helps your brain stay conditioned to fall asleep more quickly when you do have the opportunity.
It also gives you the opportunity to spend time with a partner, friends, have some time to relax and do some prep for the next day- rather than going to bed early and waiting to be woken.
Don’t lie in bed awake for long periods
If you wake up (outside of necessary feeds or after settling your baby) and find yourself lying awake and feeling worried or frustrated, then leave the room.
Sit somewhere dimly lit, read a page or two of a book, or watch a bit of TV to take the pressure of sleep.
Return to bed only when you feel sleepy again. Over time, this teaches your brain that your bed is a place for sleeping, not worrying or clock-watching.
Create small wind down moments
You may not have long, peaceful evenings like before, or much time during the day to yourself, but carving out even 2-3 minutes an hour to ground yourself and decompress can make a difference to energy levels.
When you boil the kettle- simply breathe, smell what you can smell, hear what you can hear, feel the weight of the kettle as you pour- this all helps to relax your mind.
Try to manage anxious thoughts
New parents often worry: “If I don’t sleep, I won’t cope tomorrow” or “I’ll be too tired to keep my baby safe.”
While these thoughts are understandable, challenging them can help reduce anxiety:
What does not coping look like?
Is it ok to feel tired with a new born?
How have I managed on little sleep before?
What practical steps could I take if I do feel very tired? What helps me to feel better?
By stepping back and questioning these worries, you show your brain you’re assessing the situation — not ignoring it — which helps reduce your sense of threat.
Be kind to your self
Remember: you are adapting to huge changes, and perfect sleep is not the goal right now. Instead, aim to build habits and thought patterns that reduce pressure and help your nervous system relax — so you can get the most restorative rest possible during this time.
If you are struggling with your sleep and would like a step by step plan with support, then please visit The Insomnia Clinic for more information. And if you need more help with your child’s sleep, get in touch with Little Dreams!
